Looking to live your best life and wondering what you can do to speed things along? This post is for you!
I’ll tell you the short answer straight off the bat, but knowing about the answer, and why the answer is the answer, will create a foundation for you to stand strong when you implement it in your life.
So what must you do to create your best life?
Intentional personal growth. It is absolutely essential for creating your best life, and I’m gonna tell you all the reasons why. But, first, I want to tell you what it is.
What is Intentional Personal Growth?
Intentional personal growth is very different from plain ole’ personal growth because plain ole’ personal growth can be an extremely passive form of growth.
Passive personal growth is what happens when life has to smack us in the face before we shift our ways. It’s when life has to crumble a bit, or we have to hit rock bottom or close to it before we finally listen to what our Higher Self is saying.
Intentional personal growth, however, is active in that it is deliberate evolution. It is the unwavering intention to live as the human your Soul self intends. This intention is fulfilled with deliberate and committed daily actions that better you, as well as connect you to your Higher Self.
The road of evolution on the passive path is much longer and more painful than the path of active growth.
The primary intention behind deliberate evolution is not to make ourselves happy or to make our lives better. The primary intention is to become our best selves so we can serve the greatest good. The greatest good is loving and healthy relationships. The greatest good is joyful humans loving and serving each other. Joy and life improvement is the result of deliberate evolution, not the intention.
The Universe wants and needs us to evolve and grow. Therefore, it ensures it. Our growth is inevitable.The path we take to get there is up to us. We can choose to accelerate our evolution.
Personal growth is not about changing who you are. It’s about being more of who you truly are. It’s about shedding the aspects of your human self that block you from being who you truly are.
Why is intentional personal growth important?
Personal growth is important because our best self is who we came here to be! It’s why the creator made us! Your entire life and everything that happens is to serve the evolution of your Soul as well as the Divine consciousness.
Society focuses so much on physical health, financial health—a healthy outer world. But how much time and energy is devoted to maintaining and keeping a healthy inner world?
It’s time society recognizes, not only the importance, but the imperativeness of a healthy inner world for every individual. For it is the foundation on which our individual and societal outer words are built.
We must heal ourselves and the world from the inside out.
Personal growth is important because it’s directly related to the health of your inner world. It is healing in nature.
Here’s the thing. All of our wounds, pain, and issues that remain unhealed will get passed onto our children in some form or fashion. It’s the reparative and corrective nature of evolution.
Our lack of growth and lack of healing will repeat as disruptive and painful patterns down the generations until the causative wounds are healed. Disruption, discontent, and dysfunction are blinking lights towards that which requires healing.
Raise your hand if you’ve got kids. Keep your hand up if you love your kids and want the absolute very best for them. Great! Because growing yourself is the one of the most important things you can do for your children.
For example, on the airplane the flight attendant instructs the adults to put on their oxygen masks before applying their children’s masks?
This is because the parent is useless if they’re passed out. They can’t care for someone else if they don’t care for themself first.
We can’t expect our children to be their best selves when we don’t demonstrate how.
I am saying you must care for yourself first. However, this is not to be twisted into justification for selfish living. I’m talking about truly caring for yourself, tending to your wounds and issues so you are your best self for others.
You can’t be your best as a parent/spouse/friend/boss etc if you aren’t your best self first.
Your outer world—the circumstances of your life—is a physical manifestation of your deep beliefs and standards. It is almost always a physical manifestation of your inner world.
Having said that, this doesn’t apply to young children with little control over their lives. Likewise, there are exceptions such as congenital disease and illness that are out of our control.
But, for the most part, your finances, your relationships, your weight, your lifestyle—your life circumstances—-are all reflections of your beliefs and standards.
An unhealthy inner world with unhealthy beliefs and standards begets an unhealthy outer world. We cannot create what we are not. We cannot create
It is virtually impossible to create a long standing high quality outer world (relationships, career, a healthily functioning life in general) with a low quality inner world (mindset, state of being, thoughts, beliefs and standards). You might can fake it for a while, but that’s like building a house of straw. It won’t hold up for long.
Having said, our inner world doesn’t have to be completely unhealthy to create an outer world symptom. We can still have many healthy inner aspects. When this occurs, our outer world is pretty functional.
However, any dysfunction or unhealthy aspect in our outer world indicates an area for healing in the inner world.
You are a miracle:
I heard Mel Robbins, a personal growth author and teacher, say in her TEDx San Francisco talk, that scientists have deduced that the estimated chances of you being born is 1 in 400 trillion! Think about that! It’s miraculous!
You were created ON PURPOSE by the “mind” and “hands” of Sacred, the infinite Divine, the creator and keeper of the universe and the space that holds it.
So many events and happenings throughout the existence of space and time were perfectly choreographed in order for your creation to take place.
You exist because the Universe needs and wants you! It created you with a unique makeup and skill set that it needed for its experience of physical form. I find this amazing, and I hope this helps you realize your value and the importance of your existence.
I hope it helps you realize the imperativeness of creating a healthy inner world through intentional personal growth.
Intentional personal growth is the avenue for your Soul self’s (your true self’s) fullest and clearest expression through your human form. Only through growth can this occur. Let me explain what I mean by that in the following section.
Who am I?
“Who am I?” is an age old question that I feel is best answered by first describing what we are not. Below is a diagram of the human makeup with a following explanation.
First of all, our personalities are NOT who we are. We are not our minds. And we are certainly not our bodies.
Our human selves are made of body, mind, and Soul. Our mind, and the thoughts and beliefs in it, are products of biology, personality, and Soul.
Our personalities are made of two components: our human self and our Soul self. The human self is made up of our human aspects, which are shaped by our biology and biography (our upbringing and the stories we hold about it).
Our Soul self is just that. Its only component is the divine essence of Sacred itself.
I want to reiterate that our Soul is not something we have. It is who we truly are. It is our essence, our immortal and true self that exists for all eternity beyond this snippet of time we call life.
The only constant and independent component of our makeup is the Soul. Our personality, mind, body, biology, and biography are all highly dependent upon many other factors.
Let’s go back to what I said about your Soul self fully expressing through your human self.
When all the aspects of your human self are in agreeance with your Soul self, you are in, what I call, convergence.
Convergence is the focus throughout our intentional growth and the goal in every moment. It is our greatest duty, calling, and purpose. It is when the Soul holds the reins to your life. It is also the touchstone for personal growth because it is the healing and transcending of wounded aspects of our personalities that block our Sacred greatness—the expression of our Soul self.
The thing about this physical world is we’ve got certain personality aspects that we have to consciously work on healing and shedding to prevent them from blocking the expression of our Divine selves.
These aspects are out of convergence.
I would go as far to say that it is, not only a tragedy, but dangerous when people believe their personality is entirely who they are, and that it’s set in stone. Especially, when their personality is blocking their Soul.
The belief that our personality is who we are is a slayer of growth, and therefore, a slayer of greatness. This belief is an incubator for, not only unaccountability, but evil as well. It is how a Soul becomes fully eclipsed by the personality.
The reason human caused crisis, chaos, and dysfunction exists is because fearful and wounded aspects of the personality are running the show, and they’re paying no mind to the intention of the Soul. They are divergent from the Sacred essence of the human. They are diverged from Sacred completely.
Even though our personality isn’t entirely who we are, and it can lead us to make terrible decisions, we are still always responsible for our actions and behaviors.
We’ve All Got Room For Growth:
With the exception of the very rare enlightened few on this planet, we’ve all got stuff that needs healing.
First of all, there’s no limit to growth. It’s important to keep this in mind because, while you want to be vigilant in your surveying for areas for growth, you never want to beat yourself up about the fact that there are areas for growth.
Our state of being in every moment is essentially a choice between love and fear (our Soul self and our unhealed personality).
Life will always present us with challenges. Growth and convergence prepare us with high quality responses and sacred solutions.
We each face crucial moments and life altering forks in the road where we must choose to act as our true self (Soul) or our wounded self.
We may or may not even realize we are at a such a major fork. But a fork is always a call towards growth.
You know it’s time to grow when at any of these forks:
- You feel general or specific discontent, empty, bored, numb, helpless, hopeless, or restless. See these feelings as your Soul’s homing signal going off rather than something to hate, ignore, or escape from. It’s your Soul’s way of telling you it’s ready to shed shadows and shine.
- There’s something you know deep down you’re supposed to do. You’re getting those nudges. They may not have a clear message, but something is nudging you. That’s your Soul saying, “Excuse me, please. Can you move a bit. I’ve got something incredible to show you!” You gotta dig into that.
- You’ve had a dream for a while and have yet to take action
- If you’re betraying yourself in any way:
- You don’t take care of yourself:
- Addicted to (fill in the blank)
- You don’t take care of yourself:
- Your life is chaotic or dysfunctional
- You create and maintain toxic relationships
- If you’re betraying yourself in any way:
- You have personality traits that block your light:
- You have a short temper or anger management issues
- You’re a people pleaser
- Highly reactive or have easily hurt feelings
- You need others’ approval to feel worthy
- You have personality traits that block your light:
- Your life feels a bit or a lot out of whack. You feel a deep sense of misalignment, that you are out of convergence. This means there are unhealed and unattended aspects of your personality that are blocking your Soul and its expression.
These forks in life challenge us to choose our greatness. Inaction IS an action. Indecision IS a decision. Choosing to remain at the fork is a choice to walk down the path of passive growth—the longer and more painful path towards our greatness.
Intentional Personal Growth and Mindset:
First and foremost we must shift our mindset in order for intentional personal growth to occur. At the same time, personal growth is required for a shift in mindset.
“If one depends on the other, where and how do I begin?,” you ask.
You already have! Reading stuff like this and watching videos on these topics is a great first step.
Personal growth and mindset go hand in hand. They are inseparable and directly related. Your mindset determines your level of growth and vice versa.
Our mindset has the power to prevent or promote our growth. Therefore, assessing our mindset is imperative when we set the intention to grow.
You’ve Gotta do the Sacred Dirty Work:
In order for deliberate evolution to take place, you, first, have to want to do it, intend to do it, and actually do it! It must become one of your top priorities.
“But I don’t have time!” is likely the most common excuse for not giving time towards personal growth.
But please hear me when I tell you it is an investment with massive payouts.
If I guaranteed that you could make $1,000,000 on a $50,000 investment, you’d do it, right? Even if you didn’t have $50,000, you’d find a way to get it. After all, you’re guaranteed a million dollars!
Now, I can’t guarantee you a million dollars, but I can guarantee that, over time, intentional personal growth will improve your mindset, your relationships, the health of your inner and outer worlds, your general experience of life, and much more.
I believe convergence is one of Sacred’s greatest hopes and intentions for us. Our Souls came here for a human experience, not to be controlled, oppressed, or tortured by wounded and fearful aspects of our personalities.
We must cultivate a strong and consistent sense of self-awareness.
Curiosity to truly get to know every aspect of our personality is to identify and heal these shadowed sides of ourselves so that we may best fulfill the life we came here to live and contribute to the world our unique essence that we and Sacred intended.
Too often, the shadows of unhealed, unattended aspects of our personalities dim or snuff out our light and greatness. These shadowing aspects form what I call the Else. Read more about it here.
The Else is the incessant voice in our mind that tricks us into thinking it is who we are. It is the voice and expression of the unconverged personality.
A commonly used term for the Else is ego, but for many people, ego means arrogance or an inflated sense of self. Therefore, I use the new term, Else instead.
When the Else controls our mind, the Else controls our behaviors and decisions. When the Else is in control, life crumbles easily and is more dysfunctional.
Deliberate evolution is when you take the reins from the Else and reclaim control of your life, thoughts, actions, and behaviors.
Active evolution deliberately places your Soul self in the driver’s seat. Now, doesn’t that sound good?!
All of us have an Else made up of parts of our personalities that are broken, damaged, hurt, or lost. It’s part of being human.
Our sacred work is to dig into that stuff, not to wallow needlessly or to be consumed in their resulting emotions, but, rather, with an objective, nonjudgmental curiosity and the intention and work towards healing.
We must be willing to determine our role in the dysfunctions and toxic patterns in our lives. We must release our need to be right and be willing to be wrong.
People under control of the Else are highly attached to being right. It is one of the greatest causes of dispute. It is also one of the greatest causes of stagnation.
If you’re always right, you never have to change. But if you never change, you never grow. Growth is impossible without change.
Growth is essential to the Soul. Lack of growth is a burying of the Soul alive.
Identifying and questioning the Else and our pain and fears paves the path of healing. Really getting to know them and their workings loosens their grip of control over us.
We must endeavor to trace, particularly, our negative experiences to their roots, dissect them, and inject healing and higher solutions to cultivate higher perceptions.
However, it is virtually impossible to resolve a problem with the same mind and state of being that created it. Trying to find a high quality solution with the same mindset that created the problem is like asking a kindergartener to do calculus. They just haven’t learned it yet.
Therefore, to cultivate higher solutions and perceptions, you must take action DAILY and expose yourself DAILY to wise mentors that help expand and elevate your state of mind.
I say DAILY for good reason. Your mindset is built from decades, and in some ways generations, of destructive patterns and habits. You cannot break these with an occasional inspirational quote or article.
A near constant and deliberate effort is how we achieve true and permanent growth.
When you do notice areas for growth and healing, it is important not to judge or place on them negativity of any kind.
Elizabeth Gilbert calls these unhealed aspects of our personalities shadow children. I like this term because we must embrace them tenderly like a mother and her wounded child. We embrace them with compassion and understanding.
Rather than justifying our dysfunction, negative state of being, and poor behaviors and choices with the stories our shadow children tell, we counsel and transform the children with newfound wisdom.
We shine the light of wisdom into the shadows. By this we inject Truth into the fallacy of our limiting and fearful beliefs that have formed since our birth.
Again, this wisdom grows and comes from DAILY practices and exposure to elevating and expansive guidance from mentors.
Locating and addressing our shortcomings isn’t as fun as (insert your favorite fun activities. MIne is boat rides, roller coasters, or eating yummy food). However, it can be empowering and fulfilling when we hold true to our intention.
After all, what’s more exhilarating than being who we came here to be, and fulfilling our Soul’s intention?
Dis-covering Our True Power:
The Else convinces us that our worth and power is transient and dependent upon external circumstances. This lie we believe in is one of the primary culprits of unfulfilled: dreams, potentials, and great destinies.
Who we truly are is made of Sacred itself—the ultimate, infinite, almighty power. Therefore, our true power is intrinsic, unchangeable, and infinite.
Our power does not decrease when we screw up, nor does it decrease because of others’ inability to see or revere our worth.
Keep reminding yourself that you are a Soul experiencing a human life. Remember that your Soul’s and the Divine’s intention is convergence, that is to say to align your human nature with that of your spiritual nature. For this is where peace, wisdom, inspiration, purpose, and true power are found.
What I do for Intentional Personal Growth:
As I said before, daily exposure and practice towards personal growth is essential. I do several things to help me in my evolution that I hope you’ll find valuable as well.
I listen to enlightening podcasts and videos such as TED talks or YouTube videos of my favorite mentors. Also, I read inspirational and personal growth books every day.
I attended the Art of Living’s Happiness Program. There I learned a breathing and meditation technique called Sudarshan Kriya. I do it every morning. It has changed my life dramatically.
I pray. Prayer is many things to me. It is my tether to Sacred and to the greatest power source of all. It is where I find peace and the comfort of home. I invite Sacred into every moment and situation.
While I am far from mastering it 100% of the moments, I try to maintain a constant awareness of my state of being. This way, I catch myself when my Else tries to take over. I’m far from perfect. The Else is a sneaky sucker. But I work on it everyday throughout the day.
Our deliberate evolution is not only important, it is imperative. I believe it is one of our Soul’s greatest needs and desires. If we aren’t actively evolving, we are actively stifling our Souls.
When I say evolution, I’m not speaking about it in the biological sense. I am referring to an inner evolution.
The collective outer world (the way things are on planet earth) is an expression of the collective inner world of humanity. As the collection of each droplet creates the sea, our individual inner worlds create the collective inner world of humanity.
The world evolves to a higher state one individual at a time. For this reason, it is up to each of us to help the world evolve beyond violence, famine, oppression, hatred, etc. It is up to each of us to heal the world by healing ourselves.
Our personal evolution promotes a collective evolution. We cannot create something we’re not. A peaceful world is only possible with deeply peaceful individuals.
Not only does our evolution impact the world, it has profound effects in our individual lives. The priority of intentional personal growth is the only priority that includes and enhances all others.
With personal evolution as your top priority, every aspect of your life is enhanced. You become a better partner, parent, friend, and human in society.
Your experience of life is enhanced.
Intentional personal growth prepares you for every problem and challenge.
Progress requires evolution. Evolution requires growth. And growth requires change.
So, the bottom line is: If you want your life to change you have to change the way you live. Evolution requires deviation from and disruption of our normal ways of living.
Your deliberate evolution and claiming of your greatness is the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world.
If you’re reading this, you’ve already begun! Welcome to The Light Society!
Prayer of the Week:
Divine and holy Sacred, thank you for my life and for creating me with great uniqueness and power. I am ready to evolve. I am ready to be who I came here to be so that I may best serve the highest and greatest good. In the gentlest, most effective way, please help me identify, heal, release, and transcend every aspect of myself that blocks my highest destiny and my Soul’s fullest expression. I ask this for myself and for the rest of the world. Thank you for your clear guidance, support, and unwavering love. Amen.
In Light & Love,